Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Why show up in the first place???

Home Depot CEO Bob Nardelli resigned abruptly this morning 1/3/07 amid investor uncertainty despite increased profit (yet poor stock performance). OK. Call me the IDIOT here. Nardelli, upon securing his new deal back in 2000, also orchestrated a total $210 MILLION golden parachute package should he fail. OK..The job pays what?
And my EXIT package will pay out WHAT?? Hummm..(Calculator out). I must accomplish this level of success (increased profit in the global market) within a certain time frame (I DID IT! profits increased 2000-2006). Now being the top dog, I also know I'm at the mercy of people who don't like me (competitors, board members, employees). Just thinking..what if I have too much success, and they want to keep me around?? That can't be good! I once saw HOMER SIMPSON take a dump on his boss' desk to get fired. Not quite sure if it worked. It was a dream sequence and he woke up. Let's be creative here. Board scandal? Insider trading? NO..(jail). Screw working! I want that exit package.
You know? Home Depot sucks! I mean any real job sucks! I didn't dream of selling hammers when dad was taking me to see THE MICK at the stadium in the 50's. Working in a hardware store? Being the boss at the Hardware store?? I don't think so..I'll wait for Phil Rizzuto to go into broadcasting and take second base for the bombers!
I don't know what it pays. Maybe I'll work in a hardware store wearing an apron in the offseason for extra money? But as a career??? Not a chance!
Back to 2007:
OK. enough of this sh^*^&$%T! That doophus in isle six keeps asking me about copper tubing vs. plastic. I'm the BOSS here! I get a cool 200 mil just for getting fired!
I'll take it! Maybe I'll go up in the cherry picker one more time in LUMBER. No, here.. take the FU&$%&^&*$@#KIN' apron and put it where the Board of directors keep their heads most of the time! There's an old saying: WORK is for people that don't know how to play GOLF!"


At 6:06 PM, Blogger champiod said...

210 million (in my doctor evil voice with pinky finger between the lips) Dollars


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